What is Ordinary?

There is a girl
She is not necessarily graceful
Or talented
in any sort of way
She's not terribly pretty
And she's not the ugliest
You'd mistake her for the girl next to her
and the girl next to you
She has auburn hair
Bright orange enough to be different
Dark brown enough to be plain
She says she hates dancing
But every time it rains
You'll find her out by the lake
On the edge of town
Dancing on the moss and the grass and sand
Dancing in the rain
All alone
She looks kind of funny
And everyone talks about it
But no one lets her know
That it is known where she goes
when it rains
They'd rather not let something so 
extraordinary that it is beautiful
be interrupted
That freckled girl still dances in the rain

Goodnight

When you know someone for a year

You begin to notice the patterns

How the person says hello

and goodbye

That little quirk

when he grins

more with the right side of his mouth

how he says goodnight

every night

without fail

Some nights the goodnight is happy

joyful, warmth of a hug and kiss

floating on dreams of the future

love stories with happy endings

dancing on starlight and my imagination

And some goodnights are stressed

a terse kind of goodbye

The goodnight could be angry

every needle every knife

every weapon pointed at each other

a battle that exists only in words and thoughts

Or goodnights can be just plain sad

woeful understanding of what is to come

the fearful nightmares that haunt us

in the backs of our minds

This is the most ironic type of goodnight

The night is not good at all

darkness and fears

I run and run but cannot find sleep

I tire but do not rest

When we say "goodnight"

I know neither of us go to sleep

We wait up, hoping for someone to save us both

An awful sort of irony.

Dangerous Flames

You say you
Trust me
You say you
Love me
I believed you
But your heart has been
Broken
You are like flames
They dance dangerously
Consuming every bit of me
And my strength
But your blaze is so beautiful
I'm captivated by you
Even if all you leave behind
Are hot coals of pain
And ashes of loss
I can't get away from the fire
It draws me closer
Every singe and burn
Every drop of blood
You say you
Trust me
You say you
Love me
Do I believe you?
It's not a matter of whether I
Believe you or don't
It's a matter of how close I
Can get to your flames and survive
They pull me in
Drawing me closer
What you say
Might burn me

Enclosed by Locks

She sits there
She looks around
She's aware
She's not welcome now
Nor was she ever
Though she's alone
She holds it together
And writes her poems
She's a loner
She's an outcast
She's the girl you don't see
She watches the world
Even watches you and me
When she moves it's like
Water weaving through the rocks
Her story is hidden
Enclosed by locks
This girl is not who you know
Her deepest emotions
Hardly ever show
She might've been your friend
But you forgot her in an instant
She could've met her end
And you wouldn't have noticed
No one ever realizes
No one ever sees
That under the disguises
There lies quite some unease
She's a loner
She's an outcast
She's the girl you don't see
She watches the world
Even watches you and me
This girl is not what you think
You better listen to her story
It might very soon sink
She doesn't say a lot
But her mind is so wild
She's everything you think she's not
Even though she smiles
Hides it all inside
She does
She shuts the world out
She can't trust anyone because
The past fills her with doubt
Look
Pay attention
No one should feel alone
Do you feel the tension?
Tell someone
Let it be known
When she moves it's like
Water weaving through rocks
Her story is hidden
Enclosed by locks
This girl keeps it inside
But now she's too tired to hide

Communication

My ex-best-friend tried to warn me

She said we needed more communication

I thought things were fine

He and I were happy, in a way

We were too shy to really talk much

But things were getting better

So I shrugged it off

But now I think that maybe he deserves

a girl who takes charge, who'll know what to do

and maybe I belong with a guy who will actually

have a conversation with me instead of sitting there

with headphones in, reading a book

or just holding my hand

not saying much

he thinks that's enough

but I'm beginning to think it's not

I just want a real relationship

One where we can go places and try new things

I don't want to just sit there on the couch and watch movies all day

though that's good, too

I want to know him

I want him to know me

He thinks he knows me

And maybe he would

If we had what my ex-best-friend calls

communication

Sweetheart

I like it when you call me sweetheart
I like it when you call me anything, really
baby, sweetie, freckles
Or even just my name
I like it when you look at me
with those deep brown eyes
that I could stare into forever
sinking deeper and deeper
I like it when you hug me
whisper in my ear
you love me
and it'll be alright
I like it when you wrap your arms around me
I like it when you tickle me
I like it when you kiss me
I like it when you hold my hand
I like it when you try to help me
Even when I don't need help
Even when I don't want help
I like it when you're persistent
I like it when you care
I like it when we take walks around your old neighborhood
I like it when we talk about things without meaning to
but I also appreciate your silence
I don't like it when you're sad
I don't like it when I don't know what to do
I don't like it when you get in the mode
That mode I can't get you out of
That mode I stopped trying to get you out of
Because you get me in that mode, too
I don't like it when you go too far
Even if you don't mean to
I don't like it when you say things just to get to me
I don't like it when you hate
I don't like it when you clash with others
I don't like it when I can't do anything to help you
I don't like it when you don't eat
I don't like it when you throw up what you do eat
I don't like it when you have nightmares
I don't like it when you refuse to sleep
I don't like it when you're scared
I don't like it when I have nothing to say
and you don't either
I don't like it when you ignore me
I don't like it when you don't say goodbye
I don't like it when I cry
I don't like it when you don't notice I'm sad
I don't like it when you do notice, either
I don't like it when you hate yourself
I don't like it when you talk about death
I don't like it when when we're nameless
I think I'll keep the name sweetheart instead

Forever Forgotten

I'm left behind in the dust
I'm running for a train I'll never catch
Lost in the fog
Forever forgotten
It doesn't feel good
Watching you go
Turn your back
As I struggle with my pack
Forgotten
I feel forgotten
Pass me by
nothing but a wave goodbye
Hide behind my umbrella made of leaves
I'm not in a rush anymore
I'm not running for a train I'll never catch
I'll just watch it leave
without me.

Kitten

A pretty little tabby kitten
Her chestnut fur is lit by golden sunlight
Of the afternoon spring sun
The grass around her glows
Like fireflies of the evening summer
She licks her paw slowly
Watching the world as it unfolds
A whole adventure to be had
There is so much potential for
A pretty little tabby kitten
Her green eyes lit by curiosity

The Garden

I had a wonderful day at the garden with you
We pulled weeds from the soil
and vines from the rocks
I had an enchanting day at the garden with you
If only you had been there
we planted lettuce and strawberries
and harvested snow peas and radishes
I had a lovely day at the garden with you
I missed you all the while
We ran around in the grass
spraying each other with the hose
doing work that didn't feel like work
It was a splendid day at the garden with you
If only you had come

The Task at Hand

Pouring
Pounding
in my ears
rain falls like lead
like hail
crashing down to
pain
yet all is
calm and peaceful
and my mind is numb
I block it all out
and focus on
the task at hand

Shells

I have a few shells
from my last trip to the beach
They are hard as stone
and fragile as a glass vase
blooming with smooth
flowers that twirl in the center
like an oceanic whirlpool

Invisible Fragility

We are delicate

Tissue paper in

a soft breeze

Silvery feather

dances in the night

so no one sees

the ethereal essence

We are both delicate

but invisible is our

fragility

as we spread our

gossamer wings

with silvery feathers

My Head

It seems as though
one sacrifice of my joy
gave me another love
and it seems as though
maybe it was worth it
but I wonder if it wasn't
I wonder I wonder
but never get anything done
running in circles
is a hobby of mine
my music is important to me
but is it really?
How do I know?
Is there some evil being in me?
Subconsciously making me forget
about importance
about what is real
and what isn't
I'll get back to it some day
but tonight I'll forget
forget about importance
and the demon inside my head

Relax

You say
relax relax
But it doesn't work like that
Yeah it's
relax relax
I'm falling through the cracks
Train runs off its tracks
It's time to face the facts
It doesn't work like that
I don't wanna talk to you right now
All you're gonna do is bring me down
So I shut off my phone and
Wish I could go home
You tell me to calm down
tell me to relax
tell me what to do now
Can you tell me that?
There's a storm in my mind
rain is poring down
love has made me blind
I don't want to drown
So barricade the walls
Protect from the rain
all of the feral squalls
hit the weather vane
difference between day and night
clouds and the clear sky
give me cause to write
this poem while I cry
crazy strong waves
forcing us into caves
and possibly to our graves
don't leave, please wait
don't leave me to my fate
What if it's not worth it?
Could it be not worth it?
You say
relax relax
slice my heart with an ax
It's time to face the facts
it doesn't work like that
I won't relax
I can't relax
Don't tell me to
relax

When It Rains

It's raining yet again
I write when it rains
It rains when I write
It's sad and yet
releasing
Tears running down my face
So intense
So determined
I write when it rains
It rains when I write

Thinker

At 9:52
I sit here in wonder
of the day that has passed me
and the day to begin tomorrow
I'm a thinker, one might say
I plan ahead
I glance behind
I think a lot
But when it's dark like this
And my eyes are aching
And the clock reads 9:53
It's been a long day
But I don't think about that
I think about what is next
Step by step
Now it's 9:54
and I'm getting a little bored
But I do not wish to sleep
Because just hours ago
There was a trade-off of words
A fierce unforgiving silent battle
Across the town
As is the gift and burden of technology
Just like the analog clock that burns
the numbers 9:55
But I never wish to sleep
for I would have to think
about the trade-off of words
the harshest words
I got carried away
So did he
And I'm a forgiving person
But at 9:56
he's already asleep
I'm up wondering where I went wrong
Probably a lot of places
I have too much on my mind
at 9:57
I will stay up
I will not sleep
This is not the end of the day
Merely the beginning
But by 9:58
time is flying too fast
It means I must go to sleep
But that's the last thing on my mind
at 9:59
I might as well just wait till 10